The musings of an unwhole soul...

frayed at the edges, torn apart at the seams

life is busy...
I hadn't forgotten about this journal, but I haven't had a chance to post on here in quite a while.
A lot of big changes have happened in my life (all for the better) and my time that I can spend online and stuff is very limited.
I am working full time now, not as a Cosmetologist but in a factory.
I still live in a crappy neighborhood in a crappy house, but my boyfriend and I are looking at houses.
My boyfriend and I are definitely serious about each other and I plan on spending the rest of my life with him.
I never seem to have time to read or write anymore, but I plan on working it into my hectic life.
My daughter is almost 3 1/2 now and is getting to be such a big girl.
Speaking of which she is acting wild and crazy so I've got to run, but I promise to update more!

SS/HG exchange
Oh my. This years exchange gifts have been amazing! Much love to everyone who contributed to the exchange, and to the mods who work so hard to make it a brilliant success!

I highly recommend (as long as you are old enough) for everyone to read Nectar of the Gods. It's not my normal choice, since it involves Lucius Malfoy, but the author did an amazing job! It's by far my favorite so far. I also greatly enjoyed the 3 art gifts made for Miamadwyn.

Now there is something that is puzzling me a bit and that is when I went to submit my fic M.O.T.H to the petulant poetess, I was turned away (very nicely and graciously) due to not having a Beta to check my work. But I came across a story on there the other day that (though abandoned) was very poorly written, and was quite gross. I can't fathom why such a story could be posted, while mine was rejected. Oh well. Eventually I will finish M.O.T.H and find a Beta and have it posted, and until then I'll just try and make it better.

I'm also currently reading Gone With The Wind. I've never taken so long to read a book before! It is a large book, but mostly I think it's because of the way it's written. I'll feel as if I've been reading for ages and I'll only have read a chapter. I'm only about 1/3 of the way into it.

Ah well, I'm off to try and get another chapter I before bed!

one of those days...
I've been so depressed lately that I haven't been able to find the energy to update. A lot has been going on, and I will try and update with a real entry soon. Sometimes life is just way too crazy...

Oh how I miss my free time. Keeping up in the world of fanfic is not as easy now that my daughter is in her toddler years. She is a little firecracker but I'm loving every minute of it. I've been having insomnia problems (which isn't new to's something that keeps coming back to haunt me) and have been staying up all night and even into the morning, will lie down, get a few hours in, then be right back up. It's been rather frustrating.
I'm actually feeling tired tonight and am hoping that I'll be able to go to bed soon. On that note...good night!

Sometimes I really wanna just slap my fiancée. Seriously.
Maybe it's me. Maybe I am an unreasonable person. Maybe I am letting my frustration with my current situation get the better of me. Whatever.

My next conquest in the battle of the books is going to be Gone With the Wind. I am putting it off a little bit and reading some of my other books that I checked out from the library first just because I know that Gone With the Wind is a big book and once I start it, there's no turning back.

I'll have to update more later.

Still undecided...
about Wuthering Heights. I guess it's because I am still waiting for Heathcliff to redeem himself in some way. I have read way too many books where it ends up working out for the main characters in the story, so I forget that there isn't always a happy ending...especially in a book that is generally described as a tragic love story. Though to me it's just a giant tragedy.

Last night I kept falling asleep while trying to finish the book, so I am still not done with it. On top of that I kept having strange nightmares about ghosts. A little off from the more pleasant dream I had been having of late, involving a rather young Alan Rickman (sometimes as Severus Snape, but sometimes not) The dream keeps repeating itself, which was fine by me since it was rather wonderful, but last night it didn't...but that might be because I only got a few hours of sleep, and most of it was nightmares. *sigh* I'm really hoping my good Alan Rickman dream returns again tonight.

I am going to give a quick shout out to all my favorite fan fic loves!
Miamadwyn's Care of Magical Creatures...
little_beloved's Denial...
and last but not least HogwartsClassof91's Murder Of Crows!
All can be found in my links section and I highly recommend them!

the cat is on the chair...
So I've decided to finally give in and read Wuthering Heights to see what all the fuss is about...and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. I've got about a quarter of the book left to read and then I'll be finished with it. There are a few lines that have tugged at my heart but for the most part I have found the book to be...tragic and strange and rather frustrating. As someone who believes in True Love and Soul Mates and that when it comes down to it love should conquer all (yes I know I'm a die hard romantic, to the point of it being unrealistic) this book is hard to read. What's harder about it is my own personal life crisis, which I have never really shared on here since this has always been more of my fan fic journal, and I like to keep it that way. So should I tell my own personal dreary tale? I think not. Maybe someday I will write a fan fic that reflects my situation and have that be my means of expressing it.
I haven't had a chance to read any of the SS/HG exchange this year, and I know I missed a lot of last years, which makes me sad. I'm hoping to hurry and finish Wuthering Heights so that I might be able to start reading the fics. So away I go for now! The sooner I finish this book the sooner I can indulge in some yummy SS/HG lovin!

The problem with dreaming is sometimes the dreams are straight from your heart, and they are so amazing, and feel so real, that when you wake up, it feels as if part of you is missing, and you wish you never had to wake, that you could stay in your dream forever...

I haven't forgotten!
Hello all my dear LJ friends! I know it's been awhile (again) since I have posted an update! And again I'm sorry! But here we go!

I finally graduated from my Cosmetology school and am 1/2 way through my tests to get my license! So yay!

My daughter turned 2 in May! She is getting to be such a little lady, but with a bit of a tomboy edge. She loves going outside to play, but with how hot it's been we haven't been able to let her for long. She's a redhead and has super fair skin so she burns easily. *sigh* we are struggling through potty training right now. She's getting pretty good about it, except for accidents here and there.

I haven't had a chance to write in a while, which sucks for me because I really love to write. But right now I am a full time mommy!

Other than that...not much new. Still don't have internet and have to use my phone for updates. Hoping my fiancée starts work soon, so we have some money. *sigh*

But I really hope everyone of you are doing great! And I'm gonna enjoy catching up on your fics when I get internet again! :D


My sincerest apology
I know I haven't updated in quite a long time and I send out my most sincere apologies to all of my friends on here. I really don't mean to worry you!

I hope you all accept!

To update for everyone interested my life has been quite full and crazy for the last...well year really. My daughter is 1 year and 7 months on the 16th of this month and she is the most amazing person I have ever had the privilege of knowing! She is amazingly advanced for her age and is constantly surprising me with the new things she learns. Sometimes it really makes me sad how fast she is growing. It seems only yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital and writing fanfics while she napped!

I attend Cosmetology school full time at a Paul Mitchell school and am graduating in March. After I graduate I plan on taking a couple of months off and then starting my Learning Leader (teacher) course. I plan on becoming a Learning Leader for Paul
Mitchell schools. Also I want to be a guest motivational speaker
for Future Professionals to tell them my life story and how I
faced the odds and how the Paul Mitchell culture changed me
and changed my life.

I do plan on eventually turning back to my writing. I plan on starting work on my fanfics once again and finishing them. Eventually I would love to write a teen based novel, even a series of novels. Until then I've contented myself with reading
almost every book I can get my hands on. I just recently finished
the latest book in the House Of Night series and am eagerly awaiting the next book.

I miss all of my good fabric friends on here! I have been trying to keep up with everyone updates but haven't really been able to.

Soon I am getting a new laptop and I'll be getting the Internet back! I only get online once in a great while when my iPod can pick up an unsecured wifi signal. Crappy but true. But soon I will be back online and able to update more frequently!

Much love and happy holidays to all of you lovlies! Xoxo!


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